Here there be snow monsters

There will be a couple of inches of snow in London today. Expect delays.

Uh huh, ok I believe you this time, mainly because I walked to the station with 2 inches of snow on my head!

This morning we woke up and Big Daddy decided this would be the morning to leave early for work.

“OH!” he said sounding mildly surprised, “it’s snowing..”
“yes, it does that,” I said sounding horribly jadedly British all of a sudden. “Where’s my coffee?”
“No it’s really snowing, it’s still snowing,” he said,
“Really?” Ok I was interested now.

Sure enough there was a beautiful blanket of puffy snow.

“Right well I’m off then,” said the untwartable one. “See ya later, I’m going skiing in my car.”

Oh very funny!

Five minutes later I was jumping on Lil Fella’s bed, “c’mon Lil Fella it’s WAKE UP TIME and look out the window…”
“Why? I’m warm” mumbled the duvet.

“It’s snowing!”
“Goody,” mumbled the duvet. “Is it a snow day?”
“erm no,”
“so what’s the point?”
“just look outside will you,” I grumbled.

A dishelved head peered out.
“ah, it’s so pretty. It’s like Narnia out there.”

He stared at me thoughfully..
“I’d better get my sword.”

Because as we all know, a sword is an essential item for fighting all forms of snow beast you may find on the way to school.

Good luck Lil Fella.

Global warming – except in my corner

Now before the environmentalists go berserk (such a wonderful sensitive lot), I am not belittling the global warming thing, but man I’m cold. It’s a tease really because they (being the BBC – purveyors of all things almost but not quite right, but close enough and who you gonna moan to in any case) have been going on about snow all day! My jaded colleagues knowingly nodded their heads while listening to me going on and being excited about the snow. I hate that there is still no wonderful puffy flowing from the sky. I so want to throw snowballs at them… boohaha!

Boss: “Oh God, it’s apparently going to snow – at least 10 or 20 centimeters”
Me: “Woo Hoo”
Workmate: “Never going to happen. It never actually snows when it says it’s going to”
B: “Yep, never does”
M: “Wow Scrooge and Grinch in the same room. And me without my camera.”
B: “Well you get used to the constant disappointment Luv”
M: “Bah! Humbug! It will snow and then I’ll be calling in “SNOW DAY” and working from home.”
B: “You bloody won’t”
M: “Well, I’ll at least have the pleasure of texting the both of you at 7 o clock tomorrow morning with the words HA HA”

So here I sit, wrapped in blanket and waiting for it to snow. But it has to be proper snow! No point HA HA-ing if there is a smattering of it. That just won’t have the same effect.

Watch this space.

Apologies for my freakishly large head.

We had the first splatterings of fluffy snow today. Woo Woo. So of course while I marveled at the lovely puffy flakes and started dreaming of a white Christmas, I thought it prudent to check my iPhone every so often during the afternoon to check the tubes hadn’t ground to a halt. All seemed well.

Now a while back my darling husband bought home a spectacular hat. It’s a cross between a Russian hat and a cake and it quite simply the warmest thing in the world. However it is also rather large. I chickened out of wearing it yesterday and suffered for my vanity with aching ears and the coldest head ever. Today, considering that the weather forecast said it would be a whopping high of 2 degrees, I thought vanity be darned and let’s get this sucker on.

‘Aw cute babe,’ hubby said as I put the mountain of fluff on my head.

‘Yes, but I cannot in fact see a blasted thing,’ I grumbled. In fairness I was peering out from under it like a small child trying on their parents clothes. ‘I can’t see!’ I whined.

‘But you look cute,’ hubby insisted, clearing missing the point that looking cute could lead to a multitude of accident ridden situations that it’s just not fair to put someone with reactions as slow as mine in.

At this point I looked outside and it looked cold. Really cold. The cars were covered in a fairly decent layer of frost. I quickly decided that there was no way I was leaving without the hat.

Walking down the street I couldn’t help but notice lots of people glancing at me as I walked past. I could almost see them thinking ‘look at that freak with the giant head’ Although on hindsight I’d like to believe that they were wishing that they had an enormous pile of fluff on their heads. Ten minutes out of the house and in the freezing cold was enough to convince me that I’d make the right decision.

Until I got to the tube. I managed to jump on just before the doors closed and almost took out the tall guy next to me.
‘I’m so sorry’ I said sheepishly. So sorry for my freakishly large head.

So I left work and decided that it would probably be wise to wait until I was about to exit before putting it on. The problem was I had forgotten how badly I function in cold weather and moments after leaving the building, I walked into a pole I’d missed due to fluff in my eye. Dang! Narrowly missed my untimely death by bus, Blast! And somehow missed the station entirely.

Thankfully though I didn’t assault anyone on the way to pick up the Lil Fella.

‘Nice hat, Mom’ he said before collapsing in a fit of giggles.