The double J noise duet

sssshhhhh!! Don’t move. Don’t breath. Not a sound if you please.
Both the kids are sleeping…

I can physically feel the happy spreading over me as I become the little old woman version of myself sitting here in silence listening to the morning bird song with a slightly moronic smile on my face. I feel no guilt that it makes me so happy that my children are so blissfully quiet. You have no idea how rare that is in my house.

J, my first born nutter is the personification of pure joy, and that isn’t a quiet thing. It’s amazing to watch him find joy in all that he does. Even if he’s been naughty and sent to his room, minutes later you hear him singing away. When he’s happy, his volume control button is automatically bust and immense amounts of booming voice, chatter, laughter and so on can be heard from here to the other side of town. I admit he drives me insane a lot of the time, because it’s so hard to make him take anything seriously. He is the human version of an excited Labrador.

My latest, Baby J, is the personification of a cuddle. She is a loving sweet little soul and if I could, I would have her in my arms all day. I don’t think she’d have a problem with that at all. She does of course also have her moments where she makes one heck of a noise such as if I take a bit too long to get the feed prepared or she’s lost her dummy or if she simply wants UP… now! She has some lungs on her when she really gives it all that.

And of course we are now into the Easter Holidays which means that the children combine to make one happy harmonious noise medley. So again I say to you… ssssssshhhh. Don’t move. Don’t breath. Not a sound if you please.

Not the plane! Anything but the plane!

Before we left for Cape Town, it was clear that someone wasn’t keen on the journey.

‘I don’t want to go on a plane. They crash and I like my body thank you very much.’

Someone has clearly been hearing horror stories in the playground. Now may not be the time to introduce him to Lost.

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ I told the boy, ‘nobody is doing any dying on a plane.’ Honestly, I would love to spend a day in this kids head! It must be very exciting in there…

‘Still,’ he said, ‘I think it would be best if we take a cruise to South Africa.’

Silly me.

‘Boy, we’ve just spent thousands of pounds on plane tickets…’

‘Bikes!!!’ he yelled, ‘we’ll go on bikes!’

But of COURSE!

Putting in order of tranquilisers now.

Bring on the sunshine

With all the stress and stupidity that I’ve had to deal with lately I have totally forgotten to mention that the boys and I are jetting over to Cape Town. Oh happy days!

I don’t really know what to expect. It’s been four years, there is some random stadium being built, friends of mine have partners, husbands, kids I’ve never met as well as some with kids who will have grown up a wee bit. Not to mention my sister and my lovely niece and nephew! It’s all very exciting stuff.

My skin will be layered in factor 1 billion to compensate for the total lack of sun over the past 4 years. Especially seeing as everyone over there has just gone through a whopper summer (or so I hear). Major tan envy!

Lil fella has been trying to practice his South African accent. Walks past me the other day….
‘Howzit, Ja” he said
‘Huh? What the heck was THAT’ I asked, confused by the geezer-slash-twang-mixed-with-bad-hollywood-version-South-African accent.
Sounding slightly put out, he replied, ‘Mum, I’m doing South African…. Touch, pause, ENGAGE!’
‘Oh no no no, I don’t want to engage!!!!..’ I yelled as a 10 year old ball of fury came hurtling toward me.

A few minutes later from the lounge floor I looked over at the mini-Saffa.
‘Boy, you are South African. You don’t have to pretend.’
‘But Mum! I sound so ENGLISH! I can’t arrive there sounding English!’

Heaven forbid.

We all have our own ways of preparing for a holiday. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a vat of sun cream to pre-order for pick up on arrival…